Whilst I believe that the things that I have experienced and lived through have in some ways made me stronger, the nature of the illness means that I will never be completely well again.
My demons are always there in the background. It is a constant battle, and enormous effort to keep them at bay using the techniques that I have learned through therapy and counselling just to be able to function “normally”.
People tell me that I need to look after myself as I won’t be able to care for Mum if I am ill. I am acutely aware of this, but it is difficult to find time to do the things I know that I need to do to keep myself well. I hardly have a minute to myself.
How dementia affects a family
Dementia destroys other family members as well as the person who has been diagnosed with it. You carry the responsibility for another person’s life and wellbeing on your shoulders 24/7 and 365 days a year.
Because of the nature of the illness, there isn't often anyone willing or able to support or help you. It can be a lonely existence where you feel torn between the person you are caring for and your family.
Dementia can bring about earth shattering revelations when people relive their past, which you will never be able to properly discuss with them or know if it is true, even if your gut feeling says it is.
Also, the implications of having someone with dementia think that you are somebody else and treat you as though you are, can be extremely traumatic for the carer.
It is so all-consuming. Alzheimer’s Society reminds me that I am still a person in my own right with other commitments such as being a mum, wife, and grieving daughter. They remind me to look after myself physically and mentally and help me work out how to do this.
