Atomic Twister sounds like a thrill ride, which is what the TBS movie aspires to be. However, laughably implausible plotting, cardboard characterizations, leaden performances and ludicrous dialogue make it as exciting as a cruise through It’s A Small World.
The casting, either through coincidence or design, amounts to a Steven Bochco alumni association meeting.
Sharon Lawrence, formerly of NYPD Blue, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar, currently on the ABC cop show, have the lead roles and the supporting cast is topped by Corbin Bernsen of L.A. Law. Atomic Twister establishes that each of them owes Bochco big time for whatever success they have had. Absent the sparkling writing and direction his shows provide, their performances descend to summer stock caliber.
Atomic Twister also seems to want to make a statement against nuclear energy, which is always chic in Hollywood, but it is done in such a ham-fisted manner, it is as difficult to take seriously as everything else about this film.
Lawrence plays Corrine Maguire, a recent divorcee who relocated with her 12-year-old son Campbell from the West Coast to Tennessee when her marriage dissolved. She landed a job as a supervisor at a nuclear power plant populated by goofballs so inept Homer Simpson would be the perennial employee of the month. Not only are the people with whom she works half-wits, they are Neanderthals, who dismiss the qualified Corrine as solely the product of affirmative action.
Gosselaar is her next-door neighbor, Jake Hannah, a womanizer who has become something of an idol to Campbell, to the chagrin of Corrine. Jake was engaged to a local heartthrob named Ashley but his reluctance to take the next step drove a wedge between them. This puts Jake in a ticklish situation, since he is on the local police force and Ashley’s father (Bernsen) is the sheriff.
Their fates wind up in each other’s hands when a series of tornadoes menace the area. The level of the writing is epitomized by a scene in which Corrine steps outside the fortresslike nuclear facility to check on damage in the vicinity. Former Olympic sprinter Carl Lewis has a bit part as a well-liked security guard named Stu, whose post is the parking lot gatehouse. As an actor, Lewis is a very fast runner, so the director takes advantage of what the would-be star has to offer. When a twister bears down on his position, Lewis, in his only scene beyond his introduction, takes off at a Forrest Gump gallop. As fast as he is, the twister wins. Corrine reports the result to colleagues. “The transmitter just got hit…and Stu’s dead,” reporting the latter as matter of factly as she might say, “Dinner’s going to be a few minutes late.”
In a situation that even one of the workers finds preposterous, the tornadoes tear through electric lines, leaving the power plant without power. This creates a situation in which the nuclear rods being stored might go into meltdown. “This is going to make Chernobyl look like a firecracker,” one hysterical vendor cries.
It’s up to Corrine to head off this catastrophe and she’s distracted by concern over what’s going on at home with Campbell.
This is where Jake redeems himself in her eyes by alternately playing cop, fireman and diesel truck operator. Jake’s so versatile that rescuing one youngster doesn’t test him sufficiently. He also has to come to the aid of a damsel in distress, which rehabilitates his status on the force.
It could be awhile before anyone in this sorry production rehabilitates their own professional standing.
Tom Jicha can be reached at .
