The time is almost upon us for another round with everybody's favourite dysfunctional billionaire family, and it will be a doozy. With the recent announcement that Succession's upcoming fourth season will be it's last, everybody and their mothers are waiting with bated breath to see who wins the family war. Will it be Kendall? Roman? Shiv? Or has Logan had the upper hand the whole time?
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Whatever the case may be, at least the dialogue will be the highlight once again. As a series known for its stellar quotes and insults, it's genuinely hard for anybody to pick just ten really great ones. But to catch up viewers up to speed, or for those just wanting to reminisce on the prior season, this collection of witty lines is sure to either kick your funny bone, make you gasp, or simply sit back in reflection. Strong language ahead.
10 "Who said I didn't kill anyone?" (Kendall)
Even beyond this being a hilarious sequence involving an elongated OJ joke (the juice is loose indeed), this line rings as both a great piece of foreshadowing as well as a callback to one of Season One's most iconic moments.
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Kendall, while driving, makes a subtle reference to the fact that he did in fact kill somebody, something that the cast doesn't know up until this point - and a plot point that has major ramifications going forward into the season.
9 "It’s kind of a greeting card from hell. It’s a Times New Roman firing squad." (Connor)
Kendall is attempting to perform a coup against Logan, something that both Roman and Shiv decide to not participate in for reasons of their own accord. Of course, Shiv sends a letter to Kendall, and it's as biting as you would expect.
And Connor's reaction, which is a play on words that you would never expect to hear in any show, is just perfect. The kind of witty dialogue only Succession can bring, and yet it does so with style in every single episode without fail.
8 "I'd castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat." (Tom)
Tom arguably is the standout of Season Three. And while many of his lines are memorable, this ranks as one of his most biting in retrospect mainly for the implications of it - and who he is talking to as well.
Greg and Tom have an interesting relationship that borders on a mix of toxic and genuine friendship, which is why his decision to recount the story of Nero and Sporus seems random at first. And while this line ranks as the real highlight, it's also his statement about "pushing the wife down the stairs" that foreshadows his metaphorical actions at the end of the season.
7 "I don't mean to be insulting, but having been around a bit, my hunched is that you are going to get f*cked because I've seen you get f*cked a lot. And I've never seen Logan get f*cked once." (Tom)
Ouch. Tom's endless amount of quotes is one thing, but this insult is frankly next level. Kendall, at this point, needs Tom to testify against Logan in order to take him down, trying to use threat of jail time to convince him.
Tom isn't having any of it though, and while Tom is genuinely afraid of said jail time, reminds Kendall of the sad truth - that he has always failed against his father. Cause Logan never loses.
6 "Just wanted to let you know, new dad just dropped." (Roman)
In what might be one of the single funniest lines of the show, Roman's reaction to Shiv about their mother's possible new husband is absolutely priceless. It feels like the writers here went to Twitter and used whatever slang and jokes the fandom was making and incorporated it into the show in real-time.
But even beyond that, it really goes to show Roman's nonchalant attitude toward everything. Like his mother is getting married again and this is his reaction? Classic Roman.
5 "He ate my fucking chicken. What’s next? Stick his cock in my potato salad?" (Tom)
Tom quietly became one of the best characters in the show over time, and this moment at the end of Season Two likely solidified that for many fans. This moment, which is nothing more than a power move from Tom, allows him to finally break free of his shell and gain some sort of authority over his life for once.
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And in true Succession fashion, the line afterward from Logan is pure gold. Ironically, it's one of the few times Logan doesn't seek retaliation - though to be fair, it's mainly because of Kendall's surprise back stab of his own father at the very end of the episode (perhaps the most shocking cliffhanger of the show).
4 "I heard it looked like a cry for help. 'The Dance of the Sugar Plum Failure'." (Roman)
Roman gets more and more maliciously as this particular episode goes on but this line to Shiv in the back third of the episode is particularly cutting. For context, Roman is arguing with Shiv about the current negotiations to buy GoJo.
Shiv has been left out, and this line from Roman is both darkly hilarious but actively malicious, showing that despite them being on the same side for much of the season, all of the children are ultimately out for themselves.
3 "Sure. Although he did once call me the c*nt of Monte Cristo." (Tom)
During Season Two, Logan's plans to acquire PGM are pretty much going by the wayside, but nobody wants to tell him. Gerri and Karl have no plans to get fired today, especially since Logan doesn't like to be told no as we know, so it's time for Tom to step up.
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Tom, of course, has this fantastic line in response. One of the best from the season and also a great example of how Logan has mistreated Tom since the beginning and why he's reluctant to do anything for him.
2 "Well, we do publish a number of popular newspapers, so yes, son. We probably invented the f**king words." (Logan)
The famous "d*ck pick" incident from the back end of the season might be one of the biggest twists the season had to offer, but it also led to some of the best moments on the show. This one in particular comes from Logan himself to Roman.
Obviously, it's funny in context because it's basically Logan confirming that he does, indeed, know what a "d*ck pick" is. But also it's a reminder of just how widespread and powerful Logan's empire actually is - and what the siblings hope to gain if they end up taking it.
1 "Oh, go on, go on. F*ck off, you nosy f*cking pedestrians." (Logan)
Honestly Logan's entire rant at the end of the season could have been here, but this line hits the hardest. Logan has revealed that he has renegotiated his divorce clause with Caroline in order to deprive the children of their voting power, which makes everything they've done up to this point for naught.
And this final insult, this last bit of vile, only confirms what everybody had suspected for a while - that Logan always knew. He was always one step ahead.
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